Stuart’s diary entries

Latest entry

October 18 2009

It is now 6 weeks since I last wrote in this diary, and almost 2 months since we were in Dover. A lot has gone through my mind in that time and every now again the channel raises its ugly head, like it has done for many years. At the end of the day, it is still not done, and it does hang around tempting me, but it needs to be put into perspective. I trained hard for over a year to get myself to the level of fitness that meant I could attempt it, and I am sure that given the right conditions and having the chance to swim, I would have got across. But it was not to be, and for myself, my team, and all the other swimmers who were hanging around Dover during that fortnight of bad weather, there was nothing we could have done. My family and I had a wonderful 6 week holiday, and we saw family and friends that we had not seen for many years. I also had the opportunity to spend 6 weeks on holiday with Kitty and Ryan, and that was priceless, and no amount of channel attempts could ever replace that.

The big question is, will we try and do it again. The simple answer is, yes of course we will. It will always be an ambition of mine, and we agreed that we will give it another go some time. However it will not be for at least ten years, and we will learn from any mistakes we made this time. So as much as it pains me to say it, we will be back in Dover in the years to come doing early morning dips in the harbour (click here), because it is just too tempting and annoying that it never happened. You can see France so easily from the harbour (click here), and really does feel as if it is saying to you 'come on, have a go if you think you can'.

It just remains to for me to say a big thank-you to everybody who was involved in this attempt. The staff at the Intensive Care Foundation, Nepean Hospital, University of Sydney, the Australian and New Zealand intensive care community and the James Cook University Hospital, Middlesbrough. To all my friends and family who helped us and supported us throughout the past year, and most of all to my wonderful wife, Kitty, and beautiful baby boy Ryan. Without her support and encouragement, this would never have happened, and having the two of them in my life everyday reminds me how lucky I am.

September 6 2009

To the people who read this diary, I am sure you will have guessed by now that things did not go quite as planned in Dover. The weather was unfortunately not kind to us, and we never even got the chance to swim.

Although we always knew this was a possibility, we never actually expected that it might happen. The team was pretty devastated by the whole affair, since we had spent 8 days waiting for the call to say we could go, every day walking up and down the sea-front and along the pier, with France (which was easily visible) taunting us for the shore.

It was quite painful, since it looked so close, but in the end it was so far. We are off on holiday for few weeks, and when we return we will say more, and post some more photos. Many thanks to everybody who supported this attempt.

August 31 2009

A not so good diary entry unfortunately...

13 months of training..
1.5 million metres swam..
8 kg of weight put on in 6 months (yuk)
6 days sat in dover waiting for conditions good enough for the swim to happen.

It is not looking good. The weather just has not been right, and there is nothing we can do. The team has to leave soon, so we only have another 48 hours to hopefully get the go ahead. It is very difficult although everybody is staying positive. Still draining though.

I should have known better than to count on the British weather. 30 years of living here should have taught me that....

Fingers crossed...

Today the reality has really set in. We have been in Dover for two days now, and we are waiting for the 'arse end' (as our pilot put it) of hurricane bill to rack off so we can get stuck into the channel. We met our pilot today, and he seemed really clued up on the comings and goings of the channel, which of course he would, having done it so many times. We have heard very good talk about him, that he is one of the best and his boat probably the best in the fleet, so we are pleased to be on board with him.

France was very clear today, and did not look that far to be honest, ha, try telling me that in a few days time when I am seven hours in, and the cliffs look no closer. We have some excellent photos of dover which we will post in a few days when we find somewhere to download them to.

As for when we are going, it looks like sunday morning, but may be saturday. For those of you with nothing better to do, feel free to monitor my progress on the vessel tracking web-site. Log onto the following

www.ais-doverstraits.co.uk

and then click on the boat Anastasia, which will show you where we are every 15 minutes. If you really have nothing better to do that is!

So today we finally saw it, the English Channel. That which we had been focussing on for so long was finally upon us. It was quite surreal driving down the motorway to Dover, dipping down a hill, and seeing the sea and all the ferries coming in and out. I spent three hours swimming up and down the harbour, which was nothing like I expect the channel itself to be, as it was warm and really flat, but it was great to just get in and be part of it.

We will hopefully get the go ahead this week on wednesday or thursday, and we really can't wait to get in there and have our chance. The past year has flown, and I really want to get this done so I can get back to my normal life. I need to lose all this weight that I have amassed, and then hopefully my acquired stomach reflux will also go. Whilst it has been fun eating doughnuts and ice-cream, I really am quite sick of it.

So bring on France, which we did actually see from Dover on Saturday, but apparently does not look any close till the last few kilometeres.

The advice I have been given is 'dont look up, wait till your feet touch the bottom'.

So here we are in the UK. It has been a busy 10 days for us and lots has happened. We set off from Sydney and arrived in Hong Kong for 3 days. Ryan was the perfect traveller and had no problems on his first long-haul flight. He also managed to get a good look around Hong Kong. As you can see, lots of looking going on(Photos - Touring in Honkers). I did a few sessions in Hongkers Kongkers just to keep me going and loosen up.

We then flew on to the UK. In Whitby I have been training in the local pool, and also in the North Sea. The North Sea did not look very inviting when we first got hereand reminded me of rainy English summers, but I dived in and reminded myself that it is just another body of water. In fact it was the same temperature as Bondi a few weeks ago, which was 14 degrees C, but a lot murkier, and I could not even see past my mid forearms. This was great practice and I cruised up and down for a few hours and felt really strong. Next weel I will be doing the same, sessions in the pool and the sea, and then next weekend I finally get to Dover to finally see this Channel that has been on my mind for so long. (Photos - check the UK beaches)

Will keep you all posted.

Things are hotting up. We leave for the UK in 5 days and we can't wait!!!!

Kitty and I are both in need of a good holiday, and my mum, dad, grandma & grandad will get to see little Rysie, who really is a bundle of personality and charcater. Training is going really well, and I have done 30k per week for the past 2 weeks, and am really starting to feel strong and fresh in the water. Today Geoff and I went to Bondi for my my final sea swim before we leave, where the water was a very inviting 14 degrees C. Yes it was cold, but to be honest it did not bother me at all. Now that I am not as tired, everything felt so much better. We did 12 laps of Bondi Beach and it took us about 2hrs 15 mins, and it absolutlely flew by, so much easier than when we first did it 4 weeks ago. I don't believe I could have trained much harder than I have, so I really am in the best shape possible. I actually can't wait to get into the North Sea and train, which is something I thought I would never ever say. Will give more updates when we touch down in dear old blighty.

July 19 2009

So I made it. I managed to get through two weeks of massive kilometres. In the past week I have swam 135k, and have done 4 big sessions of weights. In the first week I did 50k, and finished it off with a 2.5 hour swim at Bondi. This week I swam 50k, and finished it off with a 6 hour swim at Bondi.

The water temperature had dropped to 16 degrees this week, which is what the channel is likely to be when I swim. I have to be honest, the 6 hour swim was not easy, because I was so fatigued. But I had decided to deliberately arrive for the swim in a tired state to really test myself.

I learned several things today, the first being that I am not very good at chewing when I am exhausted, so it will be a liquid diet for me, and the other is that I do have a spell around 3.5 hours when my mind starts to wander, and this happened at Wollongong last year too. However when I am swimming the channel, I will be far fresher and I am sure the adrenaline will be pumping, and I expect that this will not occur. So now I can start easing down, well relatievly so. I will still be swimming 30k a week for the next 4 weeks, and doing plenty of sea swims, but the weights are over, and the freshening-up can begin!

Well it has been a big week. I have swam 50k in the pool, done 2 gym sessions, and then finished off with a swim at Bondi Beach this morning.

Geoff and I spent 2.5 hours going backwards and forwards across the bay at Bondi. The water was 17 degrees C, so one degree warmer than what we expect the channel to be, and the air temperature was about 10 degrees C. So pretty good practice conditions. We probably swam just over 10 k, since we did 12 laps of the bay, which is meant to be 1k long, but we were pulling up short both sides because the sea was rough towards the rocks, although the surfers in front of us were loving it. This week is the hard week, since I am already fatigued, and I will be doing 10k per day, with both my gym sessions, and doing a 6 hour sea swim on sunday.

And then next week the wind-down starts, which will be most welcome, since getting up on a morning is becoming a real pain.

The last 2 weeks have once again been a bit of a mixture. Firstly, I did not manage to get 50k done each week, and actually only did 30k each week. This was due to a combination of a lot of clinical work and having other commitments. And it was all good stuff since my mam came to stay for 12 days. She came over to see her new grandson ( I am no longer the reason to come and visit Australia! ), however unfortunately my dad could not come as well, since I know that he too would have been blown away by little Ryan. So we had some good family times over the past few weeks, and the pool did not get hit as much. But this has not hampered my training, in fact I always manage to put a positive spin on things (one of my talents and the reason I think I will get across the channel since I will be putting a positive spin on anything bad that happens whilst I am swimming).

Since I cut back the k's I feel really fresh, and was powering up and down the pool in the sessions that I did do. I also convinced myself that my regime needed to be altered anyway, since I feel I am coming off the hard work to soon. So now I will be spending the next 2 weeks doing 10k every day, so 70k per week, which is even more than I was going to do originally, and it will end up with an 8 hour swim up and down bondi beach, and after that I will start taking things a bit easier. It is becoming very boring now, and winter has kicked in, but I am on the final stretch, and come 2 weeks time, it will just be a matter of seeing it through till the big day.

So this last week has not been the best. Monday morning in the pool for the usual 10k, I did not feel right. And ended up getting out at 9k because there was something just not right. I was annoyed at myself because I never pull up short, but I felt terrible, and not the sort of tiredness that you have most sessions due to to training. Well come monday night, my throat was burning and my nose totally blocked, and I felt like junk. So I spent the next 3 days feeling sorry for myself because I had a rhinovirus. For those that think that sounds terrible, I am just being stupid, I had a cold, nothing more. But in these times of global apocalypse, rhinovirus sounds much more impressive. I don't think it was pig-flu since I did not come out in rashers, and did not need any oinkment. Bad jokes I know, but at least I am not part of the hamdemic.

That really is enough bad pig jokes, so I will stop now. Anyway I got back in the pool on friday and saturday and feel better now, and still managed to do 25k for the week, which is not too bad considering. If I was younger I would have tried to swim through it, and probably made myself a million times worse. So back to the grind tomorrow with plans slightly re-jigged. The positive part is that at least I have had it now rather than in a few months time. The negative part is that I have given it to all my family, including little Rysie who has been snuffling for the past few nights. Poor little lamb, well at least he has a 6 week holiday to look forward to in August. Not many 5 week olds can say that, assuming he could speak of course :)

Not going to say much in this entry, except to say that training is hard at the moment. I have swam 50k for the last 2 weeks, as well as doing 2 weights sessions per week. I get into the water tired and stiff every session, but can usually manage to get myself into the swing of things after about 1k, but that first 1k is always a struggle. To make things worse, well in fact it is probably better for me but does not feel like it at the time, one of the pumps in Penrith Pool has frozen over, so the water has not been heated much in the past week. It has been around 22 degrees, and the air temperature at 6am has been about 4 degrees. As I say it is good practice, but I whinge about it at the time when I get to the pool. I feel I am on track, just need to keep things ticking over.

I have not written in this diary for 4 weeks now, and the reason is that it has been a huge month for us. The biggest and most important thing to happen this month, and indeed in our lives, was the birth of our son.

Ryan Walker Lane was born at 8.38pm on friday 15th May, weighing in at a wee 6 pounds. He truly is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to kitty and I, and we are still in a state of disbelief / elation / awe, at the arrival of this little fella. I have seen hundreds of babies born in my time, but nothing comes anywhere close to the emotions I felt when Ryan was born. He has just blown us away and you can not imagine what life was like before he came along. It is amazing, and if ever I needed inspiration to get out of bed on a morning and get down to the pool in the freezing cold, I just have to take a quick look in his direction. Which is not hard, since I never take my eyes off him. I could ramble on for pages and pages, but I am sure that many of you will know where I am coming from. Truly unbelievable, and all family are doing excellent.

This month has also been a good month for training, and for the first two weeks of the month I had a training partner. Anthony came to visit from New York for a few weeks, to have a change of scenery, and as it happened he returned home the day that Ryan came home from hospital. It was really helpful to have somebody to train with when I was stepping up the distance this month, and my fitness has improved substantially. In fact I would have to be the fittest I have been since I stopped swimming back in the 90's. This past month I have done 40k per week, doing 8k per session 5 x a week. The most impressive session I had was actually the last day of May, when Glenbrook pool was shutting for the winter. Glenbrook is a beautiful outdoor 50m pool, and thankfully there is another outdoor 50m pool ten minutes drive away in Penrith for the next few months.

My set was 4 x 2k going off 30 minutes. And the times that I did were the fastest that I have done all year: 27.35 / 27.10 / 27.05 / 26.25. The last one I was really pushing it, and although the time was good, it meant more because I had done 3 previous ones at a decent pace. So overall I did in excess of 160k this month, and now I am ready for the real killer. In June I will be doing 200k, which is 50k a week, made up of 5 sessions of 10k, plus 2 weights sessions per week. Coupled with this, I will be doing more of these weekend swims in the the lake and the sea, to do some more cold-water acclimitisation. I have got myself into a really good position, now it is just a question of keeping it together for a few more months and I will be raring to go.

This week, cold water training has started in Dover, England. And so we Aussies (of which I am one now) did not miss out, we started cold water training as well. I have never been to it, but apparently it is a massive weekend for all the potential channel aspirants, which of course those of us who are not in the UK do not get to take part in. I actually think that we have the upper hand on the UK when it comes to cold water acclimatisation for the channel. Whilst the UK people start training in Dover when it is about 11 degrees C, and then it starts to warm up to channel temperature as they get closer to the date, we start off with the water warmer than the channel, and as the date approaches we end up in water colder than the channel. In fact the channel will almost seem tropical. Well today we swam in the Penrith Regatta Centre, and the water was 17 degrees C, that is slightly warmer than the channel. And to be honest, it did not feel that cold at all. I swam 6k, and my goal was to try and do it in under 90 minutes. I actually did it in 85 minutes, which is good, but even better since I felt pretty ordinary and heavy, due to the training that I have been doing. So I am happy with my performance today, and will hopefully be doing a similar thing for the next month, and then even more in the last few months before. Next week things hot up, and it will be 40k week for the next month. I have a hard 2 months ahead, and if I can get through this, then I will be right on course.

Last week was good week. I did 30k, which has been around what I have been doing for the last month. But what I did do this week, and it was something that I had mentioned was a concern to me several weeks ago, is that I have backed my sessions up. This week I did 4 x 7k sessions on 4 consecutive days, which was more mind-numbing than it was painful. And it is the mental strain that I think will be the big problem in the channel anyway, rather than the physical problems. I have no doubt that the majority of people who try to swim it, have done the yards, and that is definitely the case for me. But I do train by myself, rather than in a club, which I think is better for mental conditioning. One day last week, I did have some company for the whole of a session, when Geoff (who I did the Wollongong swim with last year) turned up at Glenbrook Pool. It was so much easier to train with company. So I am hoping that the solitude I have been putting up with, will in the end turn out to be an advantage. Next month I have decided that I will swim 160k, and the month after (July) I will swim 200k. Then I will start to ease of as August approaches. Time does keep ticking by.

This has been a good week. I have swam 35k, which is good distance wise. But more importantly 2 of my 5 sessions this week were especially important. On Friday 1 did a 7k session, and I felt amazingly strong. I was repping faster than I have since I started training last year, and it was one of those sessions where you really have gone way beyond what you have done previously, and it felt effortless. But more importantly, today I was feeling lousy and decided to 8 x 1000m @15 mins. After the first one I just wanted to get out and go home, which was actually not possible since the house was full of guests for a baby shower, and I had to take my male presence elsewhere. It was raining and it was cold at the pool today, and the last place I wanted to be. However I managed to just divert my thoughts and spent the rest of the 2 hours singing 'Ride like the wind', which I had been playing in the car on the way down. It was the remixed dance version from 1991 which just happened to be the ticket. And before I knew it I was on the last one and it was done.

These are the sessions that are more important. It is easy to swim when you feel feel good, but it is a killer when you feel sluggish. Felt pretty pleased with myself, and got home to find our house awash with baby gifts. A big thank-you to all who came to Kitty's baby shower, and thanks for all your very generous gifts.

A big event happened last week. I became an Australian citizen. And before any of the brits out there ask which half of my brain they cut out to make me Australian, let me just clarify that it was the dominant half. So does this mean that I am no longer English? Does this mean that I am no longer a pommy b*****d? Who will I support in the future ashes , and if I don't support Australia, will I have failed the 'Norman Tebbit cricket test' !! Unlike Lord Tebbit, I take a different view. I am English, and no matter what I do, that will never change. But that was my past, and Australia is my future. My wife is Australian, my family will be born in Australia, and they will grow up in Australia. And yes, when the ashes come on, of course I will cheer for England, whilst my wife and everybody else will cheer for Australia. But that is the way it is in Australia, everybody can accept that, and not have kittens about it, and thankfully Norman Tebbit was not presiding over my citizenship application. And if I am being honest, it was actually quite easy, since I am now a dual citizen, and did not have to give up my UK citizenship.

But if I had to, then I would have. And it is not that I have abandoned England, it is just that I am embracing my new country, and my new future. As for the swimming, it is ticking along nicely. I have cranked it up this month, and next month I will do so even more. Time is getting on, and before I know it, I will be in Dover.

This week has been a step up in training. I swam 30k this week, and for the first time I swam 5 sessions in one week. The reason I have not swam 5 times in one week previous is not because I could not do it, I was just was happy to do 4 sessions a week. However I have realised that training on sequential days is what I need at this moment to get me into good condition, so last week I swam 4 days in a row, which was tiring, but eventually not a huge difficulty.

I think I need to get over my obsession with how I trained when I was younger. As I said previously, when I was trained competitively, it would annoy you all day if you had not trained well in one session. Whereas these days there needs to be an acceptance that you will have bad days, since I am not as fit as I once was. And the important thing is to get in and just do the yards, and forget about how fast you do them. No matter how boring it is, and lets be honest when you don't feel great, it is painfully boring. Onwards and upward.

So this week was a better one. I did 28k this week, which was 4 sessions of 7k each, and I also did 2 sessions in the gym. So I should have had sunday off to have bit of recovery, but instead I spent it in a 3 person kayak paddling across sydney harbour raising money for Lifestart (check out kayak for kids). Well done to the rest of the team, especially Spud and Evan who paddled with me on our 4.5k leg. We paddled from clifton gardens in Mosman, to Balmoral beach. We had some great views of the harbour, and some unexpected views as well, when we paddled past one of Sydney's nudist beaches (I knew there was one somewhere round there, but I had began to think it was just legend). It is actually called Oblelisk beach, which I thought was a very interesting name for a nudist beach.

So getting back to training, things have to step up again this week. The plan is to do 8k sessions in April, so lets see how we go.

As far my training has been concerned, this month has been a mixed one.

The plus side is that I have done some sessions where I swam really fast, and felt really strong. The minus side is that I have not cranked up the distance per session that I was aiming to, and on some sessions I have actually done a bit less than I needed to. I knew that I would have a month like this at some point, in that you have made some progress, feel quite pleased with yourself and do sit back on your laurels, so to speak. So in a way, this month has been a bit of a reality check, since I am fitter than I was when I did the 6 hour swim at Wollongong, but nowhere near fit enough (in my mind) to complete The Channel. There are reasons that I have not done enough this month; I had an extremely busy week clinically last week, and our weekends have been packed. Not that I am complaining, it has actually been a great month, and we had some great weekends away, but I have not made the next step that I needed to.

April is an extremely important month. I intend to get my k's up to 8k per session next month, so around 32k per week. And then May and June are going to be even harder, with a July stepping back a bit, and then August just keeping my feet wet. However I feel extremely enthused since we had a recent meeting with the Foundation, and we now have a target of $500,000 to raise. We are aiming big.

So last week was good. This week is not as good so far. I was really tired tonight , and I got out before the end of the session. I could not even use the excuse that I wanted to get home to watch the vote-off on 'So you think you can dance', because I was recording it for when kitty got home so we could watch it together (FOX IQ is a good investment, although it pains me to say so). Quite simply I was just knackered. I had this thought, that maybe I had been taking too much magnesium supplement, and because of it my muscles could not work properly. But I know that it is because I am not as fit as I think I am at present.

Still a long way to go though, and a lot of laps to do. It will continue tomorrow night.

The week I have been waiting for, in regards to my training has finally arrived. I had been struggling to recover between sessions in the previous few weeks, however this week has been a lot better. Whether or not it is the supplements I have been taking, the change in the weather, or just that I have got fitter, I don't know. I just know that I am doing better.

This week I managed to complete my regular 6k session easily, and hit all the times that I wanted to easily. I also felt stronger in the gym, and increased the number of reps I do on each exercise from 30 to 35. And then tonight I just popped down to the pool for a quick 1 hour. I decided to just do a straight 4k swim, aiming to go about 1min 30secs for each 100m, which works out at about 15mins per 1k. So the whole swim should have taken exactly 60 mins.This is my so called 'channel pace', which is just a guide to how I am progressing. I did not feel too great when I got in, but was not straining myself too much, and checking the clock I was going well time-wise. The first 1k went by in 14mins 25 secs, so I turned and just carried on. The next 1k went through faster at 14mins 20 secs, so I thought I would just keep on going. The next 1k was even faster at 14mins 15secs, so I thought I would speed up for the last 1k, and I did it in 14mins 5secs. My overall time was 57mins 5secs. Now in the great scheme of things, this is nothing compared to what I used to be able to do when I was younger, but as said previously, I am not younger anymore, and this is the fastest I have been swimming for a long time.

I think I have broken through the sluggishness that you often have when you commence training for anything, and now feel good in the pool. It just remains for me to keep it going for the next 6 months, and it has to be said that getting up of a morning is even more miserable than it was back in the mid 80's. Cant wait for the winter months when it will be cold as well!!

So that's January over, and I think things are on course at present. However, there is one thing that I have noticed. Although I can feel really good some days, it takes so long to recover between sessions. Especially when I go consecutive days as compared to missing a day. I have decided that at present I have not taken my training as seriously as I could, and I need to start accepting that I am not a teenager anymore. So this week I am going to improve my diet, and start taking some protein recovery supplements. With the recent heat wave, I have also been prone to becoming dehydrated during the day, and especially during training, so I need to drink a lot more during the day.

Ten days ago, Anthony and his family had Gavin's case heard at the Court of Appeal in London. The sentence was increased to the maximum allowed, which is 3 years. 3 years still seems a joke for taking somebody's life, but with the ongoing work of Anthony and his family, perhaps change can occur. They have set up an organisation called 'Thornaby Against Street Crime', or TASC. Hopefully it will get people to listen and take action.

Well I decided to deviate from my usual session tonight, since I realised that I have not done a long continuous swim since Wollongong.

So tonight I decided to just do my 6k as a continuous paddle. And for the first 2k it was a struggle, just the thought of how far I had to go was mind numbing, the boredom was there from the start. So I passed the time working on my technique and counting my strokes.

I train in an outdoor 50m pool in our village, Glenbrook. It is at the foot of the Blue Mountains, just 10 mins drive from where I work in Penrith. The pool is beautiful, so much open space, not too crowded and nice friendly staff.

Well getting back to counting strokes, it's much easier to get into a rhythm in a 50m pool than a 25m pool. And in the end I got into a good rhythm today. I was doing 35 strokes per 50m, and doing each lap in about 45 seconds. So it was working out about 46 strokes per minute, which I think is quite economical by Channel swimmers standards. During the boredom, I also worked out that I was doing 700 per 1k, therefore I would do 4200 strokes tonight, and for a while I started counting. But I got bored of that, and before I knew it I was finished. I was quite pleased since I almost did not go tonight. I tried to convince myself that I should watch the Djokovic vs Roddick quarter final, but it was obvious it would not go the distance, and I was just trying to con myself out of it. Glad I went, and now I can watch Federer play his quarter feeling good about myself.

My training is progressing at the sort of rate I was expecting and hoping. At present I am swimming 6k, 4 x week. I do the same session most days, which could be seen as very boring, but at present I don't mind since I am looking to see how I improve doing the same set each session. The 6k session I do at present is:

10 x 200 freestyle @ 3 mins (doing about 2:35-2:40)
10 x 100 pull with paddles @ 1:30 mins (doing about 1:15-1:20)
10 x 100 kick @ 1:50 10 x 50 alt 1EZ 1FAST @ 55s
1000m 'channel pace' (about 15 mins)

The Channel pace I refer to is something I made up. By the time I swim in August, I am hoping to be able to swim the equivalent channel distance in the pool, doing about 1:30 per 100m. If the channel is 32k, then I would do it in 8 hours. This comparison is obviously ridiculous, and I know this, since you can not compare The Channel to anything you do in the pool. It is just a training aim. I will end up swimming way further than 36k due to the tide. But it is good to have an aim, and it would be nice to go under 10 hours, single figures and all that. However I think a more realistic aim is to go under 11 hours. And since the tide in The Channel changes every 5hrs 35 mins, it would be nice to miss the second change of tide, which really starts to get in the way of many people trying to break through to the French Coast in the last few kilometres. Many many people fail with France in their sights, due to the tide and the strong current around the French Coast. I intend to not be one of them!

We have spent the past 2 days on holiday up at Shoal Bay. It's a small area near Port Stephens up the NSW coast. Kitty's mam and dad always come hear for a week every January so we usually join them for a few days. The water here has been beautiful. It is about 20 degrees, which is quite warm, but it has been so clear and refreshing to swim in. I have done about 30 minutes each morning, yesterday at Shoal Bay, and today at Fingal Beach, just swimming up and down parallel to the beach.

I am really starting to think about what is important in my swimming when I am in the ocean. Today I realised, although I should have known this anyway but I never realised it at Wollongong, the importance of just relaxing in the ocean. The tide will knock you about sometimes, but it is really important to find your rhythm, and just go with the flow of the waves. One of the reasons I probably would have struggled to train for this years ago, is that I would still have been obsessed by swimming fast, due to my competitive days. It's actually not about that now. It is about doing the distance, just making sure my stroke is efficient as possible. Why did I not realise this when I was in my teens, when my coach was telling me then. Derek, if you are listening, you were right, you should have told me more times than you actually did.

We got a bit of a worried phone call from Kitty's younger sister, Maureen, saying that on the news there had been a report of some man attacked by a shark at Fingal Bay. Thankfully we were at Fingal Beach, not Fingal Bay, which is about 500k north. I know sharks are out there, they are there all the time. I actually feel quite reassured when I see surfers around since they look like seals from below. And for anybody else that wants to ask, are there sharks in The Channel? The answer is no. I won't be swimming with a shark-cage, but a ferry-proof suit would be nice. People say it is too cold for sharks in The Channel, and I am not sure if that is true or not. But I have enough to contend with in the forms of jellyfish, debris, ferries and pollution. Sounds inviting, doesn't it!

Hello 2009, what a year you are going to be. There is something amazingly Australian about spending the first day of the New Year in glorious sunshine stroking up and down the pool or in the ocean. It took me a while to adjust to the Aussie x'mas and New Year, but I have to admit that I totally embrace it now. The first year I was here, I saw the kids getting ice creams from Santa, who was wearing board-shorts and a santa hat, whilst delivering them via jet-ski. And while it may not be to every person's liking, I know that I definitely found my niche when I moved to Australia.

So we both had a casual swim this morning, nothing too taxing, just a quick paddle to bring in the New Year. Last night Kitty's mam, dad and younger brother, little Jonny, came over for a small BBQ. I should add that although Kitty calls him 'little Jonny', John is in fact about 6 feet 2. After the BBQ we were so tired we did not even stay up to watch the fireworks on the box. I have no doubt this may be a reoccurring theme for years to come!

And the last day of the year saw me doing 6k in the pool. I have not swam that far in one session since Wollongong. And I am beginning to feel my strength coming back. We spent the morning in Baby Kingdom looking at a Cot, a baby car seat, a bassinet, and a chest of baby drawers. It really is more fun buying for the baby than buying for yourself, and much easier to justify. I got the feeling that the shop assistants are so friendly because they know you will buy anything for bubs, and are easy prey. Today we were told that although the sale would go till next year, the prices would go up tomorrow. Yep, that sold me, and we bought the lot.

This x'mas I had the pleasure of drawing the short straw to work. Well actually I volunteered, and we are both working on xmas day. I started my week on call on 19th December, and hand over to one of my colleagues on boxing day. So next year neither of us will have to work xmas, which is great since there will be three of us. I really enjoy swimming in the pool on xmas eve, there is hardly anybody in, and it takes me back to my younger days of when I was swimming competitively. But as Kitty keeps reminding me, those days are gone.

I am still getting in the pool these days, just refuse to get up early in the morning to do it. Enjoying my sleep whilst I can, for more than one reason. On the exciting news front, we had our 18 week ultrasound this week. We have not asked to find out what sex little babsy is. People say we should know, so we can get the right coloured clothes. I don't see the logic in this. He/she will be wearing 0000 size for 3 months at the most. I am sure pink will be fine for a boy, besides, we live in Sydney. Are we not a city of metrosexuals. I possess 3 pink ties and got married in a grey suit with pink pin-stripes. He/she will be their father's image, ha. And we want to keep some surprise for May. Although I am sure there will be enough surprises anyway come May.

I have gone from the tropical waters of far Northern Queensland to the cooler waters of the New South Wales south coast. It may be the start of summer, but the water was pretty cold when we were down at Jervis Bay for the past 3 days. We went from living in a luxury cabin on Bedarra Island, to being on airbeds. And from having gourmet 8 course dinners each night to heating up tinned pasta on our camping stove. It was great fun. As I said, we got in the sea for a bit, but it was not that inviting, and reminded me what I will be doing next year.

At present I am doing about 15k since I got back in the pool. I obviously don't feel as strong as I did when I swam at Wollonogong, but I have no doubt that a couple of weeks into next year, I will be back to that level and starting the big push towards doing the big yards.

The new Mr & Mrs Lane have arrived home. We had the most amazing wedding on Dunk Island, it was truly sensational, and Kitty was absolutely stunning. I have to admit that there was a wobble in my bottom lip as she walked up the aisle towards the bridal arch on the beach. Her dress blew me away. I knew it would be something spectacular, and she is beautiful every day anyway, but I was in awe today as she walked up to meet me. It was the happiest and proudest day of my life, and was truly unforgettable. We had such a great time with our friends and family, and I want to give a special mention to my best-man Andrew who did a top job. It meant a lot that he traveled all this way for it, and especially since his wife Mandy is 36 weeks pregnant herself. As it happened, he had to fly back through Bangkok, and just narrowly missed all the chaos that ensued last week. Which was a good job since it looks like their baby is making an early entrance into the world.

After our wedding on Dunk, we had our honeymoon on Bedarra Island, which is about 15 minutes boat ride from Dunk. It was exquisite, a complete indulgence of many of the good things in life. We had 5 wonderful nights there, and it really was painful to leave. The staff on the island were so professional, there was nothing they would not or could not do, or arrange for you. If anybody is looking for a honeymoon destination, then you can't go wrong here. Outstanding.

Did I swim when I was away? Yes I did some. Namely at the great barrier reef with an abundance of tropical fish and coral. But also in the sea just of the island. This is definitely not Channel temperature, it was like being in a bath. Do I need to get back in and do some more laps? Yes, and I will in 2009. It can wait till then. Right now we just want to revel in the happiness of the last few weeks.

I worked my last week at Canberra last week. Although it was an excellent place to do locum work, and great experience, staying in a hotel for 8 nights away from home is not that much fun. Kitty and I had been talking for several months about me not working away anymore, and we decided that we would rather have time at home than the extra income.

Especially since 2009 is going to be such a big year with the Channel and the baby. On the training front, I have been managing to still keep swimming a decent amount each month, roughly about 20k a week. I know that in the next few weeks I will be doing hardly any swimming, but I think a wedding and a honeymoon is a pretty good excuse. My parents arrive for the wedding on tuesday, and a total of 35 guests will be traveling up to Queensland in 3 days time. Most people are staying between 3-4 nights, which means we will get plenty of time with our friends and family. Unfortunately Anthony can not make it, but Andrew will be coming over from London to do his best man duties. My Grandparents unfortunately will not be able to make it over from England, it's a long way for them. But they are very excited about seeing the baby next year so that will be some consolation, and we can send them lots of photos.

So is there another reason why I have not been as focused since Wollongong? Well actually there is. Kitty felt terrible that day down at Wollongong, and the real reason was that she had morning sickness. She feels really sick each morning and most of the day, but it has started to get a bit better this week, so hopefully she is over the hump.

The baby (little babsy) is due on May 18th. We are so excited, we did not expect this so soon, but are overjoyed that it has happened. It is going to make next year an even bigger year, and the trip to England in August even more special. My Grandparents on my dad's side will be able to see the little one, and we can get some 4-generation photographs taken. It seems quite a way off, but we are sure it will fly. Of course the big concern now is the wedding dress. Kitty has already spoken to the dress-makers who have assured us that it happens all the time and they can deal with it. She will be almost 16 weeks at the wedding, I have no doubt that it will not be a problem, she is carrying it all extremely well.

I have to admit that I have been a bit slack since the great day at Wollongong. Have I been resting on my laurels a bit? Probably, but there have been a lot of other things going on at the moment. What I did not mention in previous diary entries is that Kathleen and I are getting married next month. It is on November 22nd, on Dunk Island in the Whitsunday's.

We are so excited about it, however there are a few little hitches at the moment. My two best men, Andrew and Anthony are having pretty rough times at the minute, but hopefully they should be able to make it. And our wedding coordinator is being completely hopeless, but apart from that, everything is looking good for the big day.

I have to say that when I look back on what I did at Wollongong, it impresses me more each day, which is probably the real reason why I have slacked off a bit recently. I am thinking that the next two months we have a wedding, a honeymoon and xmas to think about, so I am just going to keep myself ticking over at my present level, and really start cranking up training in the New Year.

Whilst things are going really well for me in regards to my swim yesterday at Wollongong, things are not so good elsewhere. The man that killed Gavin went on trial last week, and received a ridiculously lenient sentence of 18 months. The judge stated whilst passing sentence, that he believed that the assailant did not intend to kill Gavin. That may well be the case, but when the defendant has a past history of violent crime, I am asking myself that some accountability has to be taken at some stage. What sort of society do we live in when people can go out and commit a crime like this, say they did not mean it, and end up with an 18 month in jail term, which will actually end up being 9 months due to how the UK system is working at present. It is a complete joke.

Obviously Anthony and his family are shattered and intend to appeal the sentence. It is just not fair. A good man is killed by a known yob with previous convictions, tears apart a family and a community, and will serve 9 months in jail. Crazy. Our thoughts are with Anthony and all his family.

The day arrived. And off we went to Wollongong Harbour. One of the things our parents always tell us, is never to swim on a full stomach. Well I never took much notice of that over the years. Some would say because I was a guts, I would say it was energy that I needed. Which is why our first port of call on the way was McDonalds. The big yellow arches have a purpose every now and again. So with filthy dirty food lining our stomachs, we arrived in "The Gong". I had to admit, I was fairly quiet on the way down. I was not quite sure what I was thinking, but it definitely was not excitement, probably more apprehension. We met Geoff, Annette and Lester down at the Jetty.

We had bought a big tub of vaseline to get greased up today, however I had been reading recently that the grease that channel swimmers use has nothing to do with keeping you warm. It is to prevent friction burns on your skin from all the repetitive movements. And these friction burns become unbelievably painful when the salt water starts to seep into them. So after getting ourselves covered in vaseline, and working out what we were going to eat, we dived in.

The plan was to swim out from the Jetty, into the ocean for about 1k, and then swim back. A 2k round course, and we would get some refreshments every time we came back, which would be about every 30 minutes. And do this 12 times until 6 hours was done. It was a cold winters day, and the sea was not particularly calm, and Kitty was not feeling particularly well. But we decided that we wanted to get this done, and today was the day.

The first 30 minutes went really fast, and when I got back to the Jetty, Kitty was ready with some water and gatorade, and although I tried not to have any chocolate too soon, I just had to. I was feeling pretty good. The next three feeds went pretty smoothly, and at the 2 hour mark Lester got out for a rest. I was swimming by myself at my own speed, and it was really lonely out there. I could see my white hands looking lifeless again, the water was so clear, and I could see the shark nets below. These were becoming my guide every time I swam out into the ocean, and I have to honest, I began thinking if I really was as the locals put it, 'shark bait'.

I reached the 3 hour mark, and although I was cold and tired, I still felt good, and reassured myself that I was halfway. Geoff got out at this point, which left me by myself in the ocean, and I did begin to feel very isolated. I don't know what I had been thinking for the first 3 hours 45 minutes, it was not pain or cold all the time, but just random thoughts. However at this point as I was turning back towards the Jetty for the eighth time I could feel my mind starting to wander. The mental demons that were always going to creep in at some point were in the post. It was only a matter of time before I would start questioning my sanity. When I got back to the Jetty at 4 hours, Kitty told me she sensed something was up, that I was not chatty, just quiet. I just said I was tired, which was true, but I was a bit worse than that. It was during the next 30 minutes that I realised I had been singing Mylie Cyrus for the past hour, and whilst I hate the song and could laugh about it an hour ago, it was not funny anymore. "The last time we hung out, I just kept looking down, I st-st-stuttered when you asked what I'm thinking about", round and round again, I just could not shake it.

When I touched the Jetty at 4 hours 30 minutes, I told everybody I had had enough. 'I don't need to do this right now. It's a cold day, why do we have to do it now? We can come back anytime and do this. Lets do it next weekend, this is just a practice swim. We can do it anytime.This is just stupid. However, Kitty's response was to say, 'you are crazy if you think I am coming down here next weekend to go through all this again. Stop being such a sook, and just get on with it'. She was right, I knew I could finish it, I was just being lazy, and there was no way I wanted to go through all this again next weekend either.

So off I plodded again. At the 5 hour mark, Geoff and Lester decided to get back in and give me some encouragement. And it really helped. Just having somebody swim next to you was very comforting. The isolation messes with your head after a while. And for the next hour back and forth we swam, until eventually we finished off at the Jetty for the last time. I had been in the ocean for 6 hours and 4 minutes, and had swam between 23-24k. It had been cold, painful, and mentally draining, and now it was done. At the last turn back Geoff and I had found a flower floating in the water, so I had stuck it in the back of my trunks and paddled back with it. Hence the picture of Kitty and I with the flower. I got out and just slumped on the Jetty. I just wanted to get home.

It had been one hell of a day, and to be honest, I would not have made it if it were not for the support of everybody there. And especially Kitty, she had been amazing as she always is. I can't describe how good it was to actually just get back and speak to her every 30 minutes, never mind get fed and watered. So after a quick shower and bite to eat, we were out of there. Mission accomplished. And I really mean it this time, bring on the Channel.

September 27 2008

Today I traveled down to Wollongong Harbour for a small swim. Just to check it out, and try and get a bit used to the sea. I met Geoff and Lester down there and decided to swim with them since they have been down here before. We did 1hr 40 minutes swimming along the coast from Wollongong Harbour to Coromal Beach. It was not that bad. The water was 15 degrees, pretty salty, but not that choppy. But I reminded myself, this was 90 minutes. I needed to do this another 3 times straight after each other in seven days time.

September 20 2008

I just had a swim in the pool today. At present I have decided that the last thing I want to do is burn out too soon. I am not doing a great deal of swimming at the moment, well not in my mind anyway, many people disagree. I swim about 6k 4x a week, and go to the gym about 2x a week. Not heavy weights, just fast light repetitions, since I have this belief it will keep the integrity of my shoulder joints intact during this next year of training. I have no idea if this really is the case, but it definitely sounds good.

One of the requirements of swimming the Channel is that you have to do a qualifying swim. It has to be a duration of at least 6 hours, in open water, with a water temperature no greater than 16 degrees celsius. The reason for this, according to the people that organise the Channel crossings, is to make you aware of how difficult it will be.The cold, the physical stress, and probably more than anything the mental strain.

So we have decided to get my qualifying swim out of the way, and we don't have much time since the ocean temperature around the Sydney coast will be too warm shortly. The plan is to go and do it at Wollongong harbour in two weeks time. Geoff and Lester are going to swim various parts of the way with me as part of their training (Lester is planning to swim the Cook Straight between the north and south islands of New Zealand). Kitty and Geoff's wife Annette are going to keep us supplied with water, food and some chocolate. 6 hours seems like a very long time after today's 90 minutes in a nice warm pool.

September 13 2008

I have been working in Canberra this week, which is something I do about 6 times a year. Kitty came down to visit last weekend, and we went out for dinner at a place called Axis on Lake Burley Griffin. The lake looks really nice when it is lit up at night. I had contemplated going for a swim in the lake at the weekend, but I found out that the area where you normally swim had been hired out for another group.

Can't say i was too upset, the water was 12 degrees. I had to settle for the calm indoor pool. 26 degrees, bliss.

September 6 2008

So today I am quite proud of myself. Having realised that I could not avoid cold water for ever, we decided to go to the regatta centre again. I have met 2 people from the Penrith area who are also doing the Channel in the future. Geoff is doing it in 2010, having being unsuccessful last year. Steve is doing it again in August 2009, almost the same time as me. He has had 3 previous attempts and has not had the best of luck each time. So it's good to know that I will have some training partners for the next year.

Anyway, back to the regatta centre. Today I met Geoff and a mate of his, Lester, down at the regatta centre for a quick dip. It was cold today, and the water was a very chilly 11.5 degrees. I told myself that I had to just get in and swim and not think about the cold, which was of course easier said than done. I dived in and started swimming down the course, it was freezing, noticeably worse than last month. The water was crystal clear, and I could see that my hands looked pale and lifeless, so every now and again I would clench my fists under water to convince myself I could still move them. I swam 1.5k down the course, however Kitty who was walking alongside me was told by the ranger that I could only go down as far as 1k, because the rowing club had hired that part of the course, so I turned back. When I got back to the start of the course, although freezing cold, I felt the urge to continue. I shouted to Kitty that I was going to swim back down to the 1k mark and back again, making it 5k in total. This was when I realised that I could not talk properly. My facial muscles were so cold that they could not move properly and my speech was completely slurred. Ridiculous thoughts went through my head, like 'am I having a stroke?', but then I realised I was just being ridiculous, so carried on swimming. 'Doctor heal thyself' I said to myself, in other words get a grip.

When I was coming up to about 4.5k, I could feel the water temperature really starting to get to me. I could feel my body starting to shiver and knew that I was getting towards the limit of being too cold, so I started to speed up to generate more heat. When I go back to the start, I got myself out onto the poolside, but was having difficulty walking and coordinating myself, like I was very drunk. But once a towel was wrapped around me I started to feel better. I had been in the water for 1hr 20 mins, which was pretty swift considering I was only just starting training and how cold the water was. It was then off to Kathleen's parents for the obligatory cup of tea. There was a definite sense of achievement today. Bring on the Channel I thought!

Well here we are. After all the emotion of the past few months, it is now time to get into some training. So rather than just have a plod up and down the pool watching that thin black line, I decided to do something a little more confronting. Today I did my first ever cold open-water swim. We chose Penrith Regatta centre, the venue for the rowing at the Sydney Olympic Games. And although it is not choppy or salty like the sea, at this time of the year, it is definitely cold. - 13.5 Celsius today.

I figured this temperature would make the channel, which will be between 15-17 Celsius, seem almost tropical. And it was a huge shock to the system. The shock of jumping into water this cold was not the huge shock. When I was younger, for many years we took part in the Boxing Day dip at Redcar beach , and the water must have been around 9 degrees. But this was just to jump in and jump out, nothing about swimming in it. So when I got in today, my first reaction was to jump back out, not to start stroking down the course. It was the strangest sensation. There was a feeling of absolute chill all around my body, but somehow my insides still felt warm. And after about 3 minutes of bizarre breathing patterns, I started to settle down and get into my stroke.

I did not swim for long, and I had not planned to. It was just a taster session. I swam 2k, and it took me about 32 minutes. I was going quite fast because it was so cold. I just wanted to get it over with. Anyway, we did it, got out and went back to Kitty's parents for a cup of tea. As an aside, I may be English, but I hardly drink tea at all now. It's all juice or milk because the weather is so good here. Today I still had goose-bumps 30 minutes later. A cup of tea was just the ticket.